Hollywood remake of: How did we not know
by Billybob - csagun36
Summary: A Rewrite of; 'How did we not know' (with permission of original author Ginnyrules27 granted on 04-04-2017) concerning the Locket incident as revealed to all the Weasley siblings, five years after the last battle, by Harry using a pensive.
1. Chapter 1

**Hollywood remake – How did we not Know**

 **Be-it Known to all _ that I give full credit to this rewrite to:**

 **88**88**

 **How did we not know?**

 **By; Ginnyrules27 - - (still very active)**

Rated: T - English - Family –

Ron W. the inner man -

First Published: 10-26-2010 – status: Complete

Fanfiction dot net Id #: 6428997

 **88**88**

*Hollywood remake as done by Billybob csagun36 aa begun on 03-26-2017

Published with the permission of the original author, as granted on 04-03-2017

 **Rated M** so as not to offend all those morality 'prigs' out there (go ahead I dare you … look it it up) There is also adult level humor (in this tale) which will upset those that insist that all HP fan fiction be written for readers that are no more than twelve years of age.

Alternate universe (AU): for obvious reasons that will jump out at you as you begin to read.

I write as if I am performing in a stage play – with noticeable gaps and pauses (theatrical beats) to simulate actual spoken dialog. Before you ask; I do know that my spelling sucks and my grammar is atrocious. If this offends you (and everything offends someone these days) then stop now and run away in dread.

* Author's disclaimer: This story is based in the world created by J. K. Rowling, she owns all legal rights to the characters, setting, etc. - I am merely borrowing the contents of the JKR world for my own amusement and that of my few readers. - In other words; her characters … 'ginnyrules27' original plotline … and my twisted version of it… savvy?

Enjoy

Once again all credit goes to Ginnyrules27

 **88**88**

 **How did we not know?**

 **Chapter One - laughter in Ron's Room**

 **88**88**

It had been five years since the war. The whole Weasley family was together at the Burrow, for the traditional Sunday Brunch and they were_ 'on the whole' _ a-lot happier than they had been in some time; for the entire Family had gathered to celebrate. – Today's special occasion, which happened to be Harry's twenty-second birthday.

After hearing a loud commotion coming from the top of the house, Bill and Charlie walked in on Harry and Ron laughing about something, in Ron's former bedroom – a space now used for storage.

"Hey guys", Bill said. - Before Charlie could say anything more, the Twins and Percy came in behind them.

"We heard laughter. Thought you guys might need some help." Fred explained.

"And I didn't want them blowing up the place … 'to provide that help'." Percy said, a smile tugging at his lips.

"What's so funny?" Ginny asked coming in last, beating Charlie to his question. - Harry looked up and his face seemed to light up at the sight of his fiancé/ future wife.

"Oh, we were just remembering something funny from our Hogwarts days." Ron said vaguely as he pointed at the Pensive on the floor in-between the two boys … which showed recent use as an empty vile was visible, lying nearby. - "Harry and I had a difference of option concerning some of the details of the incident … so I borrowed Harry's pensive to prove who was right. I was … by the way. - So if you'll excuse us …I'll retrieve the memory and put it back in my head.

There was a nervous edge to Ron's voice that exploded the suspicions of his siblings. Mainly because Ron had several memories in there, that clearly went beyond the funny incident… things that he especially didn't want his brothers and his sister to know about. - Despite some of the good things he had done during the Riddle civil-war, Ron still felt a deep shadow of disgrace around his actions and really didn't want anyone to know about it.

"Oh really – do you want to clue us in on the joke?" - Charlie asked. - - Ron was like Charlie in one aspect; you could always tell when he wouldn't let an issue go.

"Yeah", Bill agreed.

"Ron's was right about the sword of Gryffindor thingy - and who got it out of the ice covered pond during the hunt"- Harry jumped in, trying to save his friend considerable embarrassment. - He had caught (red handed) Ron transferring certain painful memories into the Pensive (it had been at a Healer's suggestion) - due to a number of nightmares he had endured recently. Hopefully getting some of these memories out of his head, would let him sleep better.

"There was something funny, about how you got the sword." George said, while Ginny and Fred looked on in growing disbelief.

"I'm confused." Percy said.

"Well, that's not all that surprising … now is it – oh mighty big Headed Boy—" the twins chimed in.

"Why don't we just look in the Pensive and see for ourselves?" Fred and George continued instantly. Ron began to fidget a bit. The sword incident had lead to an even more painful memory… which if exposed, would reveal how truly a gigantic a fool Ron had been that year. Thankfully his cowardly departure from the tent was already back in his head so the chosen issue was safe..

"Ronald Bilius get down here at once!" Hermione's voice called out.

"Be right there!" Ron called back. Turning to Harry, he said, "My master calls … Oi; guard my back - ok." - Leaving the room, he prayed that Harry would keep them from learning too much. - The moment Ron could be heard rushing down the stairs Harry turned to the siblings and said: - - "What happened during the hunt, isn't really any of your business … you know?" Harry said looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Actually … sticking our noses where they don't belong is a Weasley family tradition" – Ginny said with an amused snort.

Five_ "Yeah's" _in agreement could be heard from around the room

"Are you going to stop us", Ginny asked of her new fiancé.

"Actually … no, I'm not sure what memories Ron put in there, but if they have been causing nightmares – I'm guessing they are really nasty ones", Harry warned. - "Personally …I hate secrets_ and there is a-lot of stuff that Ron has kept from me _ and his family – but; for a good reasons, I suppose. Things he did in the war, that he's not proud of … secrets that still haunt him.

"And you think that kind of stuff is in the pensive", Ginny said nervously

"He wouldn't want to remove good memories … now would he?" Harry replied.

"That settles it … anything that makes ickle Ronniekins scream in the night… we have to see". George said with Fred nodding hard in agreement by his side.

"Alright then; you have been warned", Harry said.

 **88**88**

The first scene was when Ron and Harry met on the train on the way to Hogwarts_ and Harry inwardly groaned. The pensive just had to start out with that one.

 _"I heard you went to live with Muggles," said the pensive Ron. "What are they like?"_

"So this is the first time you and Ron met?" Bill asked.

Harry nodded … this one was relatively safe.

"Cool." Bill said always wanting to know how his brother and Harry Potter became friends.

 _"Horrible — well, not all of them. My aunt and uncle and cousin are, though. Wish I'd had three wizard brothers", the pensive Harry was heard to say._

"You do?" Five male voices could be heard as they all turned as one to stare at Harry.

"Don't forget the extra sweet sister." Ginny growled.

"Never luv" - Harry said as he kissed her, ignoring all the looks he got, from the other Weasley's.

 _"I have five brothers, who are always pranking me - and I'm the youngest of the boys, I also have an extra sharp witted sister_ and she's the most dangerous prankster of the lot" said the pensive Ron. For some reason, he was looking awful unhappy._

"Dam right; I am", Ginny said smugly.

"He has always respected you Ginny, but sometimes that respect has been a-bit one sided", Harry said sadly.

"I didn't mean too…" Ginny mumbled, instantly apologetically.

"I know luv, and I'm just as guilty as you are … I've taken him for granted again and again".

"If taking him for granted is a crime – why is Granger still around? - She overlooked him for years… still does" - Charlie asked sounding confused.

"Ditto", Ginny said.

"You guys aren't observant at all, are you?" Harry said in an angry tone. "The fixated on me Hermione … the one you all saw before the hunt, is not the same witch that emerged from Malfoy manor. Ask Bill he was there…"

"Harry's right … Granger changed loads at shell cottage", Bill admitted. – "After she was cursed … she seemed to lose all interest in Harry. - After Malfoy manor, Granger went after Ronnie full-bore, I was literally stunned by her aggressiveness (after Fleur pointed it out to me … of course). But I tell you the details later … right now I want to listen"

 _"I'm just one small part of a huge Weasley Clan and the sixth in our family branch to go to Hogwarts'. The pensive Ron continued. 'You could say I've got a lot to live up to. - Bill and Charlie for example had a way with the witches, popular to the point of having a competition over who could have the most new girlfriends in a single school term. Bill won the competition by the way … while Charlie recovered from his humiliating loss, by becoming captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team."_

"Hey, I only lost by two girls!" - Charlie laughed, in memory.

"Shut it, you!" Ginny spat.

" _My brother; Percy will be a Gryffindor Prefect this year_ and he's not the type to bend the rules to help anyone … not ever. - Never tries to see beyond the infraction …that one. - If I get that badge someday – (unlikely I know) I'll try to take into account the mitigating circumstances behind the rules breaker. - - Everyone makes mistakes and Bill told me once that justice should be tempered. – that's what I'll do, if I get the chance - I'll moderate the extremes of both side, rules inflexibility versus anarchy"_

"I'll be dammed …Ronnie actually listened to me", _Bill said sounding both amused and pleased.

" _Because Percy is so strict about most things; my twin brothers; Fred and George try to balance the scales of justice by messing around a lot. - I've overhead my parents chatting with Dumbledore about the twin's_ and all the trouble they've gotten into. You have to be careful around the twins; Harry, they love to break any rule they come across and pulls pranks on everybody … lord knows … I've been on the receiving end of their pranks long enough to know - -_

" _Is he implying that we pranked him … George began_

… _more than the rest of our siblings" … finished Fred_

" _Well you did… you know" Ginny said_

" _But he was such a easy target" the twins bemoaned in unison_

" _I think the twins get a perverted thrill from their rules battles with Percy," pensive Ron continued. "But Percy is unaffected … he just carries on by getting really good marks in all his classes - - meanwhile; everyone thinks the twins are really funny. – So to sum-up; Bill was a super clever head-boy and ladies man – Charlie was a rugged Quidditch captain – they are both graduated and gone from Hogwarts now. – That leaves at school; Percy the master of education and strict rules enforcer – my twin brothers, Hogwarts most popular anarchists, and a little sister still at home that's chewing at the bit (primed and ready) to cause all kinds of havoc… next year. Everyone in my family, expects me to do just as well …or even better in all categories', but even if I do manage to stand out from that-lot. It won't be a big deal, because one of my siblings will have already done it first … you know."_

Bill, Charlie and Percy were shocked. They had never noticed that their brother had felt that way. Fred and George were looking over at Harry, daring him to confirm this.

Harry sighed. "Wait for it."

 _Not only that, but if you think on it … its ruddy hard to stand out when you never get anything new. - I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's hand me down rat. – the pensive Ron then reached inside his jacket and pulled out a fat gray rat, which was asleep. "His name's Scabbers and he's ruddy useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a prefect, but they couldn't afford ... I mean, I got Scabbers instead."_

"I can't believe this." Percy said. "I wasn't that anal about the rules … was I?"

 ** _88**88_**

The scene abruptly changed; to the night when Ron had gone with Harry to visit the Mirror of Erised.

 _"Yes and no," said the pensive Dumbledore quietly. "This particular mirror shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts._

"Huh?" Fred asked.

"Shut it Fred. It's not my fault you're so thick." Ginny teased.

" _For you, Harry - who have never known your family, you see them standing around you supportively … whereas Ronald here, who has always been overshadowed by his older brothers, sees himself standing alone"._

 _Just by becoming best friends with you Harry, I'm afraid that young Ronald has been shoved even deeper into the shadows - as most of his classmates only see you, while totally overlooking him - if this continues, this feeling of being invisible to his peers will only intensify._

" _No worries mate" –the pensive Ron said to the pensive Harry_ , - _"growing up with my pranking siblings and an extra vicious sister, all of which are after me day and night … believe me when I say … I'd prefer being invisible"._

"What did he say?" Charlie asked.

"That he grew-up pranked, ignored or overlooked" - Percy echoed.

"Hey! - - I'm just as guilty as the rest of you lot – I got new clothes for school while he stayed in rags?" Ginny yelled.

"But the mirror thingy happened first year … way before he began to fixate on Granger —"

"Actually ... Hermione came late to the belittle Ronnie party, but she quickly made-up for lost time", Ginny said.

 **88**88**

The scene changed again … this time to the day after Harry' and Ron's huge argument during fourth year. – In which pensive Ron could be faintly seen; hidden under the invisibility cloak, trying to sneak his way through the common room to the kitchen.

 _"Have you seen Ron?" Harry interrupted Hermione who was speaking to Neville and the twins._

" _Harry, he was here … George began_

"… _just five minutes ago, covered with chimney ash", Fred finished - sounding rather smug._

 _Pensive Harry snorted, before turning his attention back to while mumbeling; "severs him right"_

"T _he pensive Hermione looked up sharply at the pensive Harry and then bit her lower lip thoughtfully"_

"What's this then?" Bill asked. "From everything mum said to me, the trio seemed to be the best of mates.

 _"Erm; yes … well … I did see him briefly … at breakfast, before the twins pranked his meal", the pensive Hermione replied._

The twins looked very pleased with themselves, as the pensive Hermione glared at them

 _"Does he still think I entered myself into the tournament?" the pensive Harry asked._

"I thought he did … everyone said so, even the_ **Daily Prophet _** reported that he did?" Bill and Charlie said in unison. - Not having been there at that time, they were amazed that this had occurred.

 _"Well… no, I don't think so… not really," the pensive Hermione said awkwardly._

"She doesn't sound all that convincing", Charlie said

 _"What's that supposed to mean, 'not really'?" Harry asked_

 _"Oh Harry, isn't it obvious?" the pensive Hermione said despairingly. "He's jealous!"_

"Of Harry?" - Charlie asked, sounding deeply surprised.

"He is your scrawny arse, best-mate … and loyal to you beyond question", Charlie continued looking hard at the real Harry. – "What did your self-absorbed arse do to make Ronnie feel jealous. What did you take from him … it was Granger, wasn't it. You made a move on her didn't you?"

"No way, I was chasing after Cho that year, like a pathetic lovesick puppy", the real Harry spat back

 _"Jealous?" the pensive Harry said incredulously. "Jealous of what? – of almost dying every other month. - - I tell you … everyone here would have taken 'the Mickey' out of him over the rags he wears ...if it wasn't for me. The Durley's hate me and yet I came here with clothing in better shape. He's a ruddy laughing stock; the trio's pet clown, Hermione and everyone knows it. So If that dimwitted clod wants to make a bigger prat of himself than he already has … in front of the whole school … why don't we just let him"_

"You didn't just say that … did you?" the real Ginny said as she too turned her heated gaze upon Harry.

"I was really angry that day" the real Harry replied weakly

 _"That's the anger talking Harry James Potter, not you," said the pensive Hermione patiently, in a motherly scornful tone. "What you don't realize is how hard it is for him to be your best friend. - - it's always you who gets all the attention; from teachers; classmates and … girls. Even I fancy you."_

"Ha … I knew it, Granger did fancy Harry", Bill said sounding angry while Charlie looked on equally gob smacked.

"Oh Yeah; she was my main competition for years", the real Ginny replied. - "Hermione was always at his elbow – Ronnie and I were always fearful that Granger and Harry would end up together. - And when he broke up with me and chose her to go on their camping trip instead of me … I thought she had won "

"I'm so sorry you got that impression, true is … I was trying to keep you safe", the real Harry tried to weakly explain.

"I felt abandoned", Ginny said.

"Ok … ok, I admit that Hermione fancied me – I'd known it for years, but I was never interested in her (that way), she's bossy as hell … and nags me constantly … she often treats me as a child. - For the life of me, I don't understand what Ron sees in that arrogant, know-it-all", Harry replied exposing for the first time … a bit of resentment toward his anti-social friend. – "But for making you feel abandoned I am truly … truly … sorry"

" _I know it's not your fault," pensive Hermione continued as if on cue … as she saw Harry open his mouth to berate her furiously. "I know you don't ask for it… but - well - you know, Ron's got all those brothers to compete against, and a sister who worships you … you're his best friend, and you're really famous - he's always shunted to one side whenever people see you, (especially girls) - - and that includes the rest of his family at the Burrow._

 _I'm guilty too, I don't intend to do it; really I don't … but when he puts so little value on his education … it drives me up the wall. The only boy in this school that acknowledges that I'm alive … is intellectually as thick as a post. - So I instinctively look down my nose at him and treat him like dirt_ and yet as often as I scream at him … Ron just takes it, Merlin knows why ... but he puts up with it, (my rants) and the insults I throw at him … He is hurt by it – that's plain to see … hurt loads, but he never mentions any of it to you."_

" _Why not?"_

" _I don't really know … part of me thinks he's use to it (verbal abuse) the other part thinks that he doesn't want you mad at me (more than usual) fearing you'd send me packing. - I know I step on your final nerve all the time … without intending to _and I'm not blind to the fact that its Ron who keeps me on speaking terms with you … with everyone, actually. I frankly don't understand why he puts up with the unending verbal abuse that he gets from me and everyone else, especially his family._

" _What does all this bullocks have to do with him being a prat to me … right now?" The pensive Harry asked his temper flaring._

" _I suppose this particular instance of you seemingly hogging all the attention … was just one time too many… for him"_

 ** _88**88_**

The Weasley's listening to all this, was stunned beyond belief. They never thought this 'overlooked' feeling of Ron's ran so deep. - The next memory changed into the scene where Ron dragged a half drowned Harry, out of a frozen pond before diving back in to get the sword of Gryffindor. The conversation that followed; between the two half frozen boys was thick with Ron's trademark witty humor … which had all the (non pensive) Weasley's smiling and chuckling at the good natured banter.

"Ron was right, I didn't get it out … he did … after saving my life", Harry said sounding deeply touched, by the self-sacrifices of his underappreciated friend.

 **88**88**

The next scene seemed to fast forward to the tragedy of the stabbing of the locket. - As soon as Harry saw Ron holding the sword he began to insist that they all exit the pensive.

"This bit is extremely personal and I'm sure Ron doesn't want any of you to know about it"

"Harry darling … we accept that we have damaged our Ronnie, it's only fair that we see it all … in for a penny in for a pound", Ginny said in protest.

"I don't think Ron remembered that this bit was in here when he walked away from the pensive to help Hermione,"

"Just hold him Ginny … whatever this is – we have to see" Charlie insisted.

"Err? What's going on?" - Percy asked.

"Just watch", - Harry sighed in a resigned tone. He knew Ron was going to be furious about this, but part of him didn't struggle too hard against Ginny.- It had been a number of years and his memory of the locket destruction was a-tad vague on some points. Ron had a tendency to suppress painful memories and maybe in the long run, it would be for the best if the raw truth was revealed. - Harry knew (deep down) that there would be hell to pay for exposing this secret, but maybe it would be a good thing if Hermione in particular … finally learned the truth. Maybe she'd stop beating around the bush and ... close the deal.

 _"No!" said Ron. "Don't open it! I'm serious!"_

 _"Why not?" asked Harry. "Let's get rid of the damn thing, we have kept this Horcrux of Voldemort for months now …"_

"Oh, so this is what you three were doing that year!" Ginny gasped.

 _"I can't, Harry, I'm serious - you do it -"_

 _"But why?"_

 _"Because that thing is bad for me!" said the pensive Ron, backing away from the locket on the rock. "I can't handle it! - I'm not making excuses, for what I was like, but this thing affects me far worse than it affects you and Hermione…"_

" _Oh it affects me Ron", the pensive Harry shouted back. "I have nightmares and depression. Its__ _ **little mother**_ __that's totally unaffected … but she's inhuman … that one."_

 _You don't understand … it made me think stuff - crap that I was thinking anyway, but it made everything worse. - I can't explain it, and then I'd take it off and I'd get my head straight again (for a while), but then I'd have to put the effing thing back on - I can't do it Harry!"_

Bill suddenly wondered if that locket had been the reasons for the nightmares his little brother had had when he'd stayed at his house.

 _He had backed away, the sword dragging at his side, shaking his head._

 _"You can do it," said pensive Harry, "you can! - - You're the one who got the sword; I know deep-down that it's supposed to be you who uses it. Please just get rid of it Ron."_

"Nice pep talk", Fred grinned.

"Utterly brilliant", Ginny added

"Almost as good as Wood's." George continued.

"Get the Snitch or die trying!" the three of them chorused ... making Harry chuckle briefly.

 _The sound of his name seemed to act like a stimulant. The pensive Ron swallowed, then still breathing hard through his long nose, moved back toward the rock._

 _"Tell me when," he croaked._

"Yay Ron!" the twins cheered.

 _"On three," said Harry, looking back down at the locket and narrowing his eyes, concentrating on the letter S, imagining a serpent, while the contents of the locket rattled like a trapped cockroach. It would have been easy to pity it, except that the cut around Harry's neck still burned._

 _"One . . . two . . . three . . . open."_ \- - _The last word (open) came-out as a hiss and a snarl as the golden doors of the locket swung wide open with a little click._

"I must admit that hearing_ **Parceltongue** _always sounds creepy to me", Charlie muttered.

' _Behind both of the glass windows within blinked a living eye, but it wasn't the dark and handsome eyes of Tom Riddle's; instead, the eyes that stared out from the locket was blood scarlet with slit-pupils of a snake_

 _"Stab," said Harry, holding the locket steady on the rock._

"Come on Ron; do it." The real Percy muttered.

' _Ron raised the sword in his shaking hands. - The point dangled over the frantically swiveling eyes, and Harry gripped the locket tightly; bracing himself, already imagining blood pouring from the empty windows._

 _Then a voice hissed from out the Horcrux._

 _"I have seen your heart, and it is mine."_

"You're right Charlie; that's does sound creepy", Bill snarled. He hated that that monster had had such an impact on his family.

 _"Don't listen to it", Harry said harshly. "Stab it!"_

 _"I have seen your dreams, Ronald Weasley, and I have seen your fears. All you desire is possible, but all that you dread is also possible..."_

 _"Stab!" shouted Harry, his voice echoed off the surrounding trees, the sword point trembled, and Ron gazed down into Riddle's eyes._

"Listen to Harry!" Ginny yelled, forgetting that she was in a pensive memory.

 _"Least loved, always, by the mother who craved a daughter . . ."_

"Not true!" Percy snorted. "Mum loves all of us the same."

 _Least loved, now, by the girl who prefers your friend … Second best, always, eternally overshadowed … by everyone"_

 _"Ron, stab it now!" the pensive Harry bellowed: He could feel the locket quivering in the grip and was scared of what was coming. Ron raised the sword still higher, and as he did so, Riddle's eyes gleamed scarlet._

"What's taking so long?" Charlie asked. "Why didn't Ron just stab the thing?"

 _Out of the locket's two windows, out of the eyes, there bloomed like two grotesque bubbles, the heads of Harry and Hermione, weirdly distorted. - Ron yelled in shock and backed away as the figures blossomed out of the locket, first chests, then waists, then legs, until only their feet remained inside the locket, - - side by side like trees with a common root, swaying over pensive Ron and the pensive Harry, snatched his fingers away from the locket as it burned, suddenly, white-hot._

"Merlin, Harry!" Ginny said. "Are you alright?"

"Not the time Gin."

 _"Ron!" he shouted, but the Riddle-Harry was now speaking with Voldemort's voice and Ron was gazing, mesmerized, into its face._

 _"Why did you return? - We were better off without you, happier without you … glad of your absence. - We laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption that either of us regarded you as anything more than a dimwitted clod -"_

"No; that's not true", the real Harry hastily said at the amount of heated glares sent his way. "Hermione was a mess; sobbing in regret (all the time) – beating herself-up over her hesitating in responding to Ron's – 'chosen' - accusation. We lost Ron because he finally acknowledged that he had zero chance to develop anything romantic with a girl who was hopelessly fixated with me. - I was so mad (for the longest time) that I didn't realize until after he left us, that Hermione's unrequited feelings; had just cost me my right arm."

 _"Presumption that you had any worth at all!" echoed the Riddle-Hermione, who was more beautiful and yet more terrible than the real Hermione: She swayed, cackling, before Ron, who looked horrified and yet transfixed, the sword hanging pointlessly at his side. "Who could look at you, what woman in her right mind would ever desire to share your bed. I gave my virginity to Viktor at age fourteen; knowing instinctively, that he was a far better Quidditch player than you would ever be._

 _By-the-way; you where right, I did choose Harry over you …years ago _and we've shagged like rabbits, every night since you left us. And why shouldn't we have loads of sex … Have you ever noticed the much larger size of his package, when compared to your pitiful pencil-dick. The Riddle-Hermione said as she used her hand to stroke the Riddle-Harry's - 't_ _roll size_ _d' - manhood._

"That can't be real, it's roughly the same size as a dragon" Charlie said scornfully _._

"You're right, Harry's package is only average in size; even when fully erect", Ginny said in an offhanded remark. - All of her brothers (simultaneously) turned their heads to stare hard at a totally unfazed Ginny … before turning to glare hotly at Harry, who had the grace to look deeply embarrassed.

" _So I can honestly see why you would be an utter failure in bed with a woman … Harry told me how small you are (down there)" - the Riddle-Hermione said. - Come to think on it; what have you ever done, that could compared in any way; to the popularity of the Chosen One ... to merit me (of all people) to want to 'make love' to you? – Have you ever known any witch (beyond that slut Brown) to take any notice of you or to show you even the slightest bit of sexual attraction, a poor-as-dirt …pencil-dick."_

"Oh my … Low blow." George whistled.

"Pencil dicked; Ronnie – should we go and ask Granger if that's true?" - Fred asked a moment later.

"As if that asexual prig would know", George said a moment later

"Shut-it both of you", Ginny said while blushing red

 _"Ron, stab it … STAB IT!" the pensive Harry pleaded, but Ron did not move. His eyes were wide, and the Riddle-Harry and the Riddle-Hermione were reflected in them, their hair swirling like flames, their eyes shining red, their voices lifted in an erotic duet._

 _"Your mother confessed to me, often enough, how she was disappointed in you as a son and how she would have preferred me as a replacement for you", sneered the Riddle-Harry, meanwhile the Riddle-Hermione began to rub her barely covered body against the specter Harry … while jeering dismissively at Ron. All but literally making love, right in front of the pensive Ron_

 _"Molly would have been loads happier if I had gotten the Prefect badge instead of you the Riddle-Harry said with a sneer. "She clearly saw the sparks flying between Hermione and I and would have preferred me to share those long prefect patrols … just think of the carnal opportunities we missed_ and all because of Dumbledore's colossal mistake?"_

"How could Ron think that?" Fred gasped, his eyes widened in shock. He was beginning to regret every prank he'd pulled on his baby brother.

 _"He's right and you know it", the Riddle Hermione announced smugly. "You are nothing … worth nothing, not to him … not to me," she crooned as she stretched like a snake and entwined herself around Riddle-Harry, wrapping him in a clearly sexual embrace: Their lips met as he caressed her tiny bosom while she reached down and began to guide his barely covered tool into her body – as a moment later they began to hump._

"Ugh … that's just gross!" Fred began

"Riddle was a really disgusting bugger", finished George"

Similar negative comments could be heard from the rest of Ron's siblings, meanwhile Ginny (beyond furious) was silently plotting her revenge on the bushy haired witch.

 _On the ground in front of them-all, as up-close witnesses' to this tragedy – poor pensive Ron's face was filled with indescribable anguish as he was literally trembling in the grip horrible emotions … from head to foot. - His self-loathing was 'plain as day' on his face. - And yet; as his siblings watched … it was Ron who somehow found the inner strength to raise again the sword on-high, his arms shaking._

 _"Do it, Ron!" - the pensive Harry yelled vaguely from the sidelines._

"Listen to the scrawny git!" Charlie yelled.

"Dammit … I'm not that scrawny" the real Harry protested

"Yes you are; Luv_ and I wouldn't have it any other way", Ginny purred softly in his ear, calming his heated temper noticeably

 _Pensive Ron turned his head and looked toward the pensive Harry, and the real Harry noticed for the first time a blue glow begin to surround his friend as a trace of ice blue fury filled his eyes._

"That's not good." Ginny muttered, remembering her own experience with Ron's blue magic during the battle of Hogwarts.

"Why is Ronnie glowing blue?"

"Not now Charlie" - Bill said firmly

 _The sword of Gryffindor now had a blue outline and then suddenly it plunged downward _ and pensive Harry threw himself out of the way of the blue magic explosion that followed the swords impact. This was another of Ron secrets; for ever since his encounter with the__ _ **Brain**_ __during the department of mysteries adventure – Ron's magic had gained a super-powerful blue (and often uncontrollable) edge to it._

 _Pensive Harry was clearly frightened by the blue magic that the pensive Ron had just employed. There as a loud clang of metal when the sword hit the locket … that coincided with a long, drawn-out demonic scream of agony. – Pensive Harry whirled around, slipping in the snow, (and falling on his butt) his wand held at the ready; to defend him-self, but there was nothing left to fight. The monstrous versions of himself and Hermione were abruptly gone: There was only the pensive Ron, standing there with the sword held slackly in his hand, looking down at the shattered remains of the locket on the flat rock as his blue a_ _ur_ _a faded._

A few minutes of awkward silence followed, before pensive Ron slowly turned to speak to the pensive Harry

" _You can never tell a soul what you just saw here … today", Ron said in a trembling voice that matched his deeply shaking body. "Promise me Harry. She must__ _ **never know**_ __what that brain did to me. Never know how big a fool I have made of myself over what turned out to be … your girl. - You two are a great couple … everyone at Hogwarts agrees on that point … everyone saw this coming… except for me. Promise me you'll always treat her right._

" _What are you going on about? The pensive Harry asked, as his head was still a-tad fuzzy._

" _I finally bought my-self a clue. - - She chose you remember? You're a very lucky bloke; Harry. I'll stay out of your way… I swear. - - I'll help get you and the sword back to the tent and then leave again … with zero fuss. I brought enough supplies with me (canned goods mainly) to last you two lovebirds, a couple of months. – I'll use the Deluminator to find you again with more supplies in a month or so. - That way, you two can have loads of quality time …_ _alone_ _… to solve the problem"._

" _You ruddy Git, she 'chose' me years ago. (Second year I think) the pensive Harry shouted. - - I've never been blind to Hermione's long-term intentions towards me,and to tell the ruddy truth … I've confronted her more than a dozen times over the years to tell her__ _ **flat-out**_ __ that these mental ambitions of hers, which I wasn't remotely interested in, wasn't going anywhere"._

" _She's not my type, Ron; Cho was – but that didn't work out either. - - I' only put up with the__ _ **little mother**_ __for your sake. - Luna is just as smart and loads more fun to be around. How many times have I told you, that you can do loads better; than the __ _ **little mother**_ __. As for me … I'm still hopelessly in love with your sister Ginny (but don't you dare tell her that) - By the way. – I staged that public break-up with Ginny at Hogwarts, just to keep her safe and I hope it works. - I don't want to survive this war – if she doesn't._

" _But Hermione chose to be with you instead of me… she wants you?_

" _I'm sure she does, but the important thing to remember here my friend... is that _ I don't fancy her now _ and never did._

The Pensive memories then ended abruptly, leaving six Weasley and one Potter standing in a semi-daze in Ronnie's old bed-room.

 **to be continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hollywood remake – How did we not Know**

As done by Billybob csagun36 a task begun on 03-26-2017

Published with the permission of the original author, as granted on 04-03-2017

 **Rated M** so as not to offend all those morality 'prigs' out there (go ahead I dare you … look it it up) There is also adult level humor (in this tale) which will upset those that insist that all HP fan fiction be written for readers that are no more than twelve years of age.

Alternate universe (AU): for obvious reasons

 _Chapter two: Aftermath_

 _ **88**88**_

The Pensive memories then ended abruptly, leaving six Weasley and one Potter standing in a semi-daze in Ronnie's old bed-room.

"Harry, could you come and help set the table?" Molly called out from the bottom of the stairway. Sneaking a glance at the others, Harry began walked out of the room with Ginny holding on to him with a death grip - giving the others a perfect opportunity to talk among them-selves (but they didn't … the gits).

"There was a lot more to it, wasn't there?"- Ginny asked softly. "The stuff that caused Ron's nightmares,"

"Yes, but that torment wasn't done by his family", Harry replied

"And your private nickname for Hermione was _ **little mother** _?" Ginny said on a far lighter note.

"Yeah … she has a tendency to mother me … a-lot", Harry said, "just as Ron's private nickname for her is …"

"… **MIONE** " _all the other siblings said at the same time, as they descended the stairs.

"Not as much a secret as Ron had hoped", Harry said with a warm chuckle.

"What do I do to make it up to him?"- Ginny bemoaned. – "I was the one that told him about Granger and Krum, giving lie to the: 'just a pen-pal crap' … that Hermione told him",

"Told_ **us** _Ginny-luv, she lied to me too." Harry said sadly.

"Did you ever tell Hermione about…" _Fred asked.

"No", was Harry's quick reply.

"Did Ronnie do what he said … about only coming back to drop-off supplies", George asked.

"I was real close to changing his mind (about leaving again)", Harry admitted. - "But when we got back to the tent, Hermione_ 'kind-a' _blew up on him … she actually attacked him physically … before repeating (and almost verbatim) what the locket said … - about us not wanting him there" - (minus the sex …that-bit, never happened).

"It had better not … otherwise I'll hex off you're …"Ginny snarled.

"The first time Ron left us … We danced … We snogged … (a-bit)," Harry admitted his voice thick with indescribable shame. "But when I touched her (on-top of her jumper) … my blood ran cold as ice. - I gave into temptation (I admit it) and it was a horrible betrayal of you. – Cho was a wet Kisser – but my lips on Hermione, was like kissing a corps. - The next morning when I awoke … filled with regret, I looked at his empty bunk and remembered … Ron was gone.

"But Ronnie found you again … didn't he?" - Charlie asked excitedly, as he and his siblings caught-up with Harry and Ginny as the pair continued down the stairs toward the kitchen hand in hand.

"Every month or so - like clockwork_ and his ability to do that (at all) drove Hermione absolutely crazy".

"And when he showed up again and Hermione caught him"; Charlie said. – "I bet she tore into him again …good and proper".

"No … she never actually caught him dropping off supplies"; Harry said, with a tiny sad smile. – "He always came while we were sleeping and silently left the bags of supplies in front the tent, without disturbing us. - - Hermione never got a chance to express any of her regrets … (if she had any) as for my-self … I felt terrible. – Ron proved to be far more loyal to me, than I was to him. - He also; was too ruddy clever, about assuring abundant quality time alone. Far more time than I ever thought him capable of giving us. - - He came undetected – a total of five times; until the snatchers got us all, (in late March) on the same day… as a matter of fact".

"I… I never knew any of this." Bill gasped out. "Ronnie went back to his apprenticeship while he hunted for you two - I didn't really come into the picture until a bunch of Malfoy manor escapees, showed up at Shell Cottage in the early morning hours. - It was Mum and dad that first told Fleur and me; (at our wedding reception … no less) that Ronnie felt unrequited love for Hermione and that information proved to be … spot on. - - I saw it play-out with my own eyes, when the first person Granger asked for, when she opened her eyes …"

"… was me", Harry interjected sadly.

"Yeah, Ronnie was crushed by that; I could tell", Bill said. "That boy had carried her across the beach, stayed at her side while she was unconscious … and yet … her first thought was for..."

"… Ungrateful bitch" Ginny snarled in interruption. - "Mark my words … I going to get her … I'll make her pay for all the pain she has caused him.

"Join the club." Percy and Charlie muttered in surprising agreement.

"Do you think? …" - Percy began

" … Mum and Dad"- Charlie finished.

"Did they know … that it was all one sided?"- The Twins said in unison as they shook their heads in the affirmative – "Yeah … they knew, but there was no talking sense to Ronnie on that issue … Merlin knows we tried. Think-on-it … had our parents actually known about how badly Granger miss-treated Ronnie over the years at Hogwarts; do you really think she would be here now?

"We realized early-on that ickle Ronniekins was chasing an unattainable," Fred said. And it was loads of fun (especially after fourth year) watching his pathetic attempts to get her attention".

"We did him wrong with the spider thingy", George continued, "no doubt about it. We really had no idea that he would be so traumatized by a relatively harmless prank".

"Harmless my arse" Harry growled. "He was paranoid about of the ruddy things – Remind me sometime to tell the story of how your spider 'mucked-up' brother (in spite of his fears) faced down an army of Giant spiders for Hermione's sake.

"When was this?" Charlie asked eagerly.

"I'll tell the lot-of-you, all about it … I promise. - - Once Ron gives me permission", Harry said to a group-sigh of disappointment.

"Look we get it … alright; Ronnie loves Granger … a super brilliant (anti-male) feminist cow, a witch that didn't know our littlest brother existed for six bloody years", Charlie said.

"Oh no; she knew he existed all right, she found him to be - both dimwitted and infuriating", Harry said with a tiny smirk.

"We just don't understand Ron attraction for someone like her, that's all … she doesn't have any social skills ... meaning; she had a total of one female friend the whole time she was in your little trio (Ginny) - we accept that he has it bad for her, we accept that she went out with other guys, but no one can explain to us ... the attraction. - - We even acknowledge that Ronnie's romantic self-confidence (when dealing with girls) has suffered greatly, because of her fixation on you"

"God's Truth … on both points; however, according to Hermione; that- 'old' -reality took a sharp turn at Shell cottage," Harry declared with a big smile. – Oddly enough_ "Little mother _ actually fought against this change in her world-view (stunning revelation) she denied it for the longest time … but three years ago (for reasons she never properly explained to me) - Hermione rather abruptly, gave into the irrefutable. Since then, she has become surprisingly receptive to the idea of hooking-up with Ron".

"Ok … stop teasing_ and tell us what happened at Shell Cottage" George said, now reduced to begging. – "If we had known she would eventually go all proactive on the lovable git, we wouldn't have done so much to block the relationship? - We verbally teased him about Granger without end, pranked the witch on occasion (just for fun) to discourage any feelings from developing on her part for a mere Weasley - (and succeeded for the most part) … Feorge and I even encourage the Krum thingy to make you jealous - (failed) and then pointed her in the direction of Cormac (failed again) - - bottom line is … we had no idea she was rubbish with boys"

"For we believe our underlining goal (as twins) was in Ronnie overall benefit", Fred said. "Meaning – to get 'miss brilliant' to dump ickle Ronnie_ **permanent like** _to make him open to the possibilities of a normal; family orientated, Ravenclaw witch, which we had already picked-out for him.

"Another prank?", Harry asked in a worried tone.

"No … we swear … We just happen to think, that icky Ronnie, with the right witch at his side (that actually likes being a girl) would make a far better Daddy, than either of us". George said with obvious sincerity.

"But not with Hermione?" Harry asked pressing the matter.

"… We openly concede that 'miss brilliant' has a pretty face", Fred began.

"But my broom has more curves", George finished.

"Secondarily; we have only seen her wear a dress twice". Fred continued, "And we have repeatedly heard her mock her dorm mates for 'wasting' revision time with silly dating. - We don't even think that she likes being female".

"In the face of these facts", George started, "the conclusion (for us) was obvious. –

"We have never hidden our feeling that _ ickle Ronniekins _ can do way better than either - slutty Lavender Brown (one extreme) – or – your asexual _ little mother (on the other)" - Fred finished with a chuckle from using the Harry inspired 'nickname' for the first time?"

"And exactly how many brilliant birds (for that is clearly the Ronnie type) have you set him up with since the war, while Granger was away in Australia or back at Hogwarts", Bill asked harshly.

"Well; Brother Billy … we've been rather busy – with our shop … and all" George said.

"The answer is zero, Bill", Ginny said.

"Too little … too late, I tell you. It would be a waste of time to try to hook Ron up with anyone else … not now. I have no idea why Hermione is dragging this out, but any second thoughts are strictly hers - not his …" Harry began, only to stop speaking and become very thoughtful.

"Ok … maybe we might have to do something - three years without movement in the status quo … is a long time", Harry said aloud, sounding more and more depressed. – "It took me less than six months, after Ginny was forced out of the _ _**Harpies**_ … for us to become engaged. - It is just possible that Hermione simply refuses to settle for what she regards as second best. – Maybe … she doesn't want more from Ron than the on the rare occasion (kissing) close friend".

"That makes sense, in my experience; most hard core feminists are traditionally anti-male", Bill said sourly.

"I don't think there is anything traditional about Hermione's thinking", Harry countered. – "Did I ever tell you … that Ron had already been tortured by the time Hermione and I arrived at Malfoy manor? - - When Bella insisted on torturing Hermione next, hearing this; Ron … lost it - volunteering to take her place. - He went nuts every time she screamed out in agony … another tid-bit that no one in the family knows about"

"Why not?," - Bill growled.

"Don't ask me … it was Ron's idea", Harry said thinking back to that fateful night. "She had gone thru hell during our capture _and Ron willingness to take her places - shocked her badly … I could tell. – Then he had the gall to stay by her side … the entire time she was in a coma (at shell cottage) how dare anyone love her that much", Harry said sarcastically - - "I couldn't be bothered as usual, I was in a foul funk over the death of Dobby. My thoughts, when she was so close to death, were exclusively on a house-elf _and that stupid prophecy"- Harry confessed, sounding embarrassed.

"Unrequited romantic feelings; Granger's for you or Ronnie's … isn't the core problem here", Bill harshly insisted. "Being rejected by a girl happens all the time to boys as they grow-up. - - No – the issue for us Weasley's; is Ronnie's self-worth issues_ and that started years before he began to fancy his unattainable".

"I was at the cottage"; Harry said in a deeply reflective tone, as if Bill had not spoken. "It was the morning after the Manor fiasco … I was sitting downstairs in the kitchen, having a cuppa with Luna and Dean, when Ron came up to me and said in a lifeless tone: 'your girlfriend is awake and calling for you'. - I can't begin to describe how furious that off-hand remark made me feel. - - I'm telling all of you here and now, that I flew up those stairs to give that pain in the arse – my ungrateful bookworm an ear full. - I told Hermione that the only reason she was still alive was Ron. - The only thing I didn't expect out of that conversation; was for her to agree with me".

"She … what", they all exclaimed as one.

"She said I was right about absolutely everything … she said that during her torture by Bella; the only thing that anchored her mind to sanity was Ron's voice … screaming her name. - - She went on to say that during her Cruciatus curse induced coma, when she wanted to give in to the darkness … she again heard Ron … talking to her, reading aloud from her favorite book … confessing his love for her … begging her to come back to him. - - Hermione said that during- 'all that time' -from capture to full recovery; she hadn't thought of me … the 'Chosen-One' more than once. The few times she managed to open her eyes (even a little) as she fought her way out of the abyss - it was Ron she saw, holding her hand, shedding tears over her".

"So she finally bought herself a clue … about time" Charlie said.

"Bought her-self _' **Part'** _of a clue, this abrupt revelation (romantic epiphany) must have scared her good and proper … for awhile anyway" Harry said. "Ginny luv, help me out here … since the battle, how often have you seen Hermione nagging me about anything or smothering me like a_ **little mother** _would". - - Ginny had to pause and think on this, a-bit _ and much to her surprise, she couldn't think of a single instance where Hermione had gone over the top in giving advice to Harry.

"This might be just a clever gambit" … Ginny said

"True enough, but we are engaged now, match over … you've won my heart. The important thing is Hermione has stopped nagging me … She has clearly given-up on me – which is a good thing. I have also noticed that her discussions (not shouting matches) with Ron are no longer over the top. - Her approach to Ron especially during the last three years has been surprisingly flirtatious and yet not encouraging enough to make Ron feel comfortable about making a move on her (and that worries me) – as Ron's not the type to force himself onto anyone. - What is her end-game in all of this ... I wonder", Harry said sounding confused. - "It's really hard for me to accept that even a partial feminist; would turn on a dime concerning any male … especially Ron_ and pull off such a carefully crafted (long-term) seduction".

"Granger a seductress … you're putting us on? - Have you seen the way she dresses?", Charlie said in astonishment

"You are spot-on; Hermione has always dressed like a thirteen year old boy … and despises the thought of using her sexuality to curry favor with a anyone …" Harry insisted.

"She's not the least bit sexy … doesn't want to learn how to be_ and Ronnie still fancies her? - What a nutter" Charlie said in disgust.

"For Hermione your brother would go thru hell, so he is definitely mental. – But after being ignored for so long … Hermione abruptly acting all slutty wouldn't be believable either. – So here's my guess … Hermione is known for making; carefully thought out, long term plans", Harry explained while holding Ginny extra close. - "Whenever she finally figures out what she wants, she then concocts a clever scheme to obtain it. - Being her target for several years … I know how hard it is for her to give up one of her long term goals. – Obviously … after choosing me over him … she couldn't just jump in Ron's arms - snog him senseless_ and confess her newly realized love for him … because such behavior would be grossly out of character for a bossy know it all and Ron would instantly suspect that she was deceiving him again … like fourth year, with Krum".

"The pen-pal lie", Ginny interjected.

"Exactly"

"So If Granger has finally decided on Ronnie, what do we all do to help this along? - - she has more effect on him than the rest of us combined. - I too have seen that Ronnie has been noticeably more self confidant these last few years_ and that's Grangers doing without doubt." Ginny said. - It was moments like this that really showed her brothers why she had been chosen to be leader of a teenager's gang (the DA at Hogwarts) and for a-while, lead the resistance against Snape and his master.

"We let Hermione win him over … her way", Harry said firmly as he reached his decision. "I don't understand (at all) her romantic tactics … at this rate they will still be just friends with – limited kissing privileges - when they turn ninety years old. – Overall; her behavior has been puzzling; she's clearly hesitating and I don't know why".

"He is the least successful of …" Percy began

"Think twice before you finish that sentence". - Harry warned with a threat. "Or is a mere shop owner beneath you too."

"Yeah … how about that" … Fred and Gorge answered hotly (being shop-owners them-selves)

"I mean he has the least gold in his vault … that's all"

"Gold cannot buy real happiness", Bill interjected.

"It can rent it" Fred and Gorge chimed as one.

"Shut-it you two" Ginny commanded

"He is comfortable in his own skin"; Harry said (which is more than I can say about myself) – I'm a somewhat successful Auror now, while his shop is somewhat profitable. - Neither of us is rolling in Dosh, but nor are we penniless. I've saved enough in the last few years to be ready for marriage_ and I believe he is ready too".

"You know …I still hear them arguing (its instinctive with them … I suppose)" - Harry continued. - "But it happens far less often now. - She helps him with his temper, helps with his chess shop on the weekend and spends long hours keeping him company. - She has her career at the Ministry and he has his tiny shop. After the shop closes they often go out to dinner to talk some more. - They have spent loads of time_ ' **talking** ' _in his flat over his shop … sometimes overnight."

"Just talk?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Ron flat isn't very big, just two bedrooms, just like his twin brothers flat above their shop", Harry said sounding very reasonable. "Popular with the witches twin's, who are just as free as their younger brother is, to entertain erotically cooperative young witches".

"So you're saying …"

"Oh; hell-no, I'm guessing from the nightmare memories, that Ron wanted to remove … he is_ **still** _ too mucked-up over his _ _'Hermione choosing me and his war trauma_ _issues'_ , to make an overt sexual move on the love of his life – and I bet Hermione knows all this".

"Sweet Merlin on a bike … we neutered the little bugger", the twins said simultaneously

"Now that we know some of the damage we've done to him … We need to talk to Ronnie and I mean ... Tonight", Bill said firmly as he stood up and went to help his mum with the mid-day meal.

The Luncheon was (as expected) an awkward and silent affair, devoid of the usual humor. Hermione; seeing that most of Ron's siblings couldn't stop staring at him and not knowing what was wrong … and fearing the worse, she sat extra close to Ron – holding his hand tightly throughout the meal. - After dinner (with Hermione glued to his hip) Ron took Harry aside and asked him bluntly – what his siblings had seen in the pensive.

Harry; glanced nervously at a very worried Hermione before saying: _ "the locket" _ and suddenly Ron's face totally drained of all color ... he then took a moment to take it all in before saying with forced calm: - "Harry I'm very disappointed in you; I thought you had my back on that issue. - You know better than most that some things shouldn't be revealed to a pack of world class pranksters like my siblings. – Those git's will exploit my childhood foolishness until the end of time". - -

"Oh never mind," Ron continued after a few more moments of deep thought. "Anything for a laugh at my expense … I imagine."

Harry reacted as if slapped

"What's going on here?" - Hermione asked both boys, now very-very worried, as Ginny tried to pull her friend away from Ron; while whispering: ... "we really need to talk".

"You-too Ginerva", Ron said sadly adapting to the situation by using a famous Shakespeare quote. - He frowned – looking between his sister and Hermione –

"Hey, Ron", Charlie said as he poked her head into the kitchen (a few minutes later) where Ron was helping his Mum with the wash-up. Ginny was nowhere to be seen and that worried Ron a lot. "We're gonna-play a game of pick-up Quidditch, are you in?"

"Huh? Oh, no-thanks oh great Captain. I just remembered some inventory I need to sort-out at the shop so I better get to it", Ron said as he finished wiping dry, the last dish. He turned and kissed Hermione on the cheek (who was still very worried and standing extra close) before saying; "I'll see you later luv … I hope. – Mum; thanks for the meal … please tell dad I was sorry I missed him (Arthur was working late … as usual)" before turning on the spot and disappearing.

 **88**88**

 **88**88** – (Twenty minutes later)

Abruptly coming down the stairs in a rush, a furious looking Hermione, marched right up to very guilty looking Harry and began poking him repeatedly (with one finger) in the chest, while saying – "How could you_ **NOT** _tell me something this important".

"Ron demanded that I nor tell you - for one thing. … Secondarily – at the time you wanted to kill him", Harry said.

"Well … at the time he had abandoned me …"

"He walked away from_ **_the both of us_** … and if you've given this any thought at all, then you've realized that_ WE _were the ones that drove him away", Harry said defensively. "He was wounded and you were all over me like a second skin. - - It took him years to figure it out … but in that ruddy tent the pieces of the puzzle finally fell into place for him. - - I really had no idea where to look next, our Horcrux hunt was a colossal failure and without Ginny being there … while seeking any kind of comfort for that failure … I mistakenly turned to you. - - Ron saw all that in the tent, how we were growing closer".

"The locket … it was the locket and Ron said in the pensive that it poisoned his mind", Hermione growled.

"The locket didn't help matters; that's true enough … but my despair and your fixation on me was the real cause for his departure. - He watched us overlook him; push him aside as his siblings had done for years. - It didn't take much more evidence than what he saw, to convince himself that we were becoming lovers … right in front of his eyes. - Lord knows we acted like lovers after he left.

"Our affair … such as it was; didn't last one entire day", Hermione bemoaned.

"I was feeling isolated and defeated – but even as vulnerable as I felt, I knew deep-down that what we were doing was wrong. - I was cheating on Ginny, for Merlin's sake – even though we were officially no longer a couple".

"It was a last ditch effort on my part … and a foolish one, I admit … seeing how quickly you hooked up with Ginny after the war", Hermione countered.

"The bottom line is, he was jealous of the most eligible bachelor (four years in a row in Witch-Weekly magazine) … meaning_ **ME**. - For he must have finally realized what I knew all along …that you went out with Krum to make_ **me** (not Ron) jealous enough to claim you as a girlfriend … I should have realized that loads sooner ... Krum was a seeker like me, (I mean, duh) apparently ... asking first wouldn't have helped Ron at all.

"You knew?" she asked horrified.

"Not back then, but eventually I figured it out", Harry snorted. "I was hogging the glory (again) in the tent – I let you be extra close … unconsciously encouraging him into thinking that you finally had me as a boyfriend. – Think on it _Besides that nutter Brown, name even one witch; that gave him a second glance at school. … Every single girl at Hogwarts fancied me_ and didn't you (your-self) say that his jealousy over my fame; (during fourth year) … proved to be for Ron, one time too many"

"He left us during the hunt; because you had no clear plan for finding the remaining Horcruxes", Hermione argued, although not really believing it.

"Ron left because you chose me … over him", Harry said.

"I didn't … oh God … I did?"

"Like you said", Harry continued as he fully calmed down. – "Ron repeatedly took in stride … the terrible way we treated him (for years) … he felt the distain; the subtle put downs, the pranks_ and he hid these hits to his self-worth as best he could … bottling up his resentment; until (recently) when they became nightmares so strong, that to just make it through the night … he felt the need to remove them from his mind. That locket still torments him".

"I hate it when you start thinking like an Auror", Hermione said

"Looking for criminal motivation is what I do now, it's almost instinctive", Harry said. "But as good as I am - you know; the best analytical thinker I know of is also a Wizarding Chess player. Three years and you won't let him do more than kiss you. Ron's not stupid … your behavior must have him convinced that you're playing him … that he'll never be worthy of you… and you are stalling until something better comes along. - - Krum maybe - so naturally he doesn't make any aggressive move on you. He most likely expects to be turned down flat … again".

"Again?" - Hermione said, sounding horrified.

"Did you ever explain (to him) why you chose me over him in the tent", Harry asked and from the guilt on Hermione's face; he got his answer, "no of course not. Ron thinks he let you down, with the slug-club dance thingy. - At Malfoy manor, he feels he should have done more to take your place when Bella tortured you. Asking for me first ... at Shell Cottage tore him up. - The kiss before the Hogwarts battle – he thinks has more to do with House-elves safety and civil rights … than any kind of genuine affection for him.

"Well … I did primarily kiss him, because of his newly discovered concern for elf welfare … but that wasn't - the only reason".

"But you did tell him on the steps (didn't you?) - That you gave up on me and now fancied him …" Harry asked sounding worried.

"… Honestly … No, but I never was any good at expressing my feelings - Not back then; anyway. I have tried during the last few years to change that and several erroneous impressions he has about me", Hermione said weakly in her own defense. "And you most likely know why I can't be more pro-active".

"You're afraid of the love he has for you … such passion scares you to death. You clear haven't tried hard enough to sort things-out; or you would be way beyond the_ only occasional _Kiss", stage after years of effort", Harry snarled back. "No next level movement in three years; Hermione, THREE YEARS. - Is it because he's just a shopkeeper and you don't think he's your social equal? - - Is it 'still' the intellectual difference … or do you object as a feminist would … to any male having any importance in your life … what's your end game here … my friend?" Harry harshly demanded to know.

"He's not the problem … I am". - Hermione admitted as she began to tear-up. – "Right from the off; I am_ **NOT** _ and never have been … a man hating feminist. - I'm a modern witch that supports gender equality in pay; which doesn't necessarily translate to being anti-male. _ _ Second: women and magical creatures in the Wizarding society are oppressed_ and I intend to do something about it _ _ Third: I want children. _ _ and finally; my experiences (so far) with men _ and with people generally; have usually ended in a total disaster. That's why I'm the problem – I really don't know how to function properly in a romantic relationship with a guy suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)"

"Three years … on hold", Harry asked amazed.

"Baby-steps … Harry … baby steps for both of us", Hermione replied. - "I admit that Malfoy manor was a major game changer for me. - For that was when I realized that you and I would never work (among other revelations) - Intellectual compatibility is grossly overrated; brilliance can be found at … work. - While the ability to find someone willing to help raise offspring and keep the bed warm on cold winter nights … cannot be underestimated".

 **88**88**

All through this – heart to heart chat neither of the National hero's … which were so engrossed in expressing their_ 'feelings' _like a villains monolog at the cinema … they both completely overlooking the fact, that all the other Wesley's were eavesdropping very intently … on every word being said – (even Molly was listening in from the kitchen). None of them knew, that Ron hadn't left the Burrow directly, instead he had apparated up to the pensive, drained his memories into a test-tube shaped container (pocketed his memories) and then apparated away to the solitude of his heavily-warded sanctuary … to consider his next move.

 **88**88**

 **To be continued.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hollywood remake – How did we not Know**

As done by Billybob csagun36 a task begun on 03-26-2017

Published with the permission of the original author, as granted on 04-03-2017

 **Rated M** so as not to offend all those morality 'prigs' out there (go ahead I dare you … look it it up) There is also adult level humor (in this tale) which will upset those that insist that all HP fan fiction be written for readers that are no more than twelve years of age.

Alternate universe (AU): for obvious reasons

 _Chapter three: intervention_

 _ **88**88**_

 _ **Flashback:**_

All through this – heart to heart chat neither of the National hero's … which were so engrossed in expressing their_ 'feelings' _like a villains monolog at the cinema … they both completely overlooking the fact, that all the other Wesley's were eavesdropping very intently … on every word being said – (even Molly was listening in from the kitchen). None of them knew, that Ron hadn't left the Burrow directly, instead he had apparated up to the pensive, drained his memories into a test-tube shaped container (pocketed his memories) and then apparated away to the solitude of his heavily-warded sanctuary … to consider his next move.

 **End flashback**

 **88**88**

Two days later,

 **88**88**

At a tiny stone cottage, preached at the edge of the cliffs of Dover. – Suddenly; several apparitions' pops were heard in the woods, behind the structure. - It was an overcast day and the rain was just starting to fall as the Weasley siblings gathered for an intervention. There was a light within and smoke could be seen coming out of the chimney.

"Are you sure this is his cottage", Charlie asked

"Yes, of course – I personally handled the paperwork on the deed", Percy replied.

"Then it is Showtime; big brother," Ginny muttered into Bill's ear. - Who then took out his wand and spent the next several minutes taking down some really impressive security wards. – In no time at all, he was sweating profusely from the effort, - finally Bill nodded and gave the signal to Charlie. Then; One by one, the siblings got each other's attention and silently moved through the hole that Bill had created … until they were all standing in front of Ron's cottage door.

"Once again … why are we doing this?" Fred asked.

"Because otherwise things will remain permanently awkward … you dolt", Ginny hissed. "Besides; you heard Mum … we broke him, we fix him"

"Why does Granger get a pass, she ignored him for years"

"Granger started to fix the damage she did, three years ago … and Mum fully acknowledges that fact. - That she has mucked-up her attempt, repeatedly … is a side issue at the moment, otherwise; there would be hell to pay by_ little mother _", … Whatever Ginny was going to say next was interrupted, by the door abruptly opening.

"You know … In spite of the wards I have on this place. - I can still hear a 'herd of trolls' like you-lot … doing the nutcracker ballet on my front stoop?" Ron said with a smirk.

"We need to talk." Bill said, frowning. "Can we come in … it's starting to rain"?

"You cleaned?" - Charlie asked as he entered the cottage, stating the oblivious. - The lounge, although small … was spotless, a clear sign that something was seriously bugging Ron. The last time he cleaned his living space was when Charlie had left to go study dragons.

"Is my cottage clean?" - Ron asked sounding puzzled. "Of course it is, I have a house-elf now. Why do you ask?"

"You have a house-elf, eh. - - Why am I the last to know", Charlie bemoaned.

"You live in Romania … you dolt" - Ginny snorted.

"Do Mum and Dad know about all this?" Percy asked.

"Tweaky … could you please prepare some tea and biscuits for my wet guests." Ron said over his shoulder, ignoring the last question, before sitting back down in his favorite chair. A spider crawled over the wall beside him. Without jumping up he reached for a Quidditch magazine and automatically swatted the bug flat.

"Merlin; why is it, that everywhere I go, I encounter bloody spiders?" he muttered nervously. Bill and Charlie looked at each other. - They had no idea why their littlest brother could get so upset by spiders. – Meanwhile; Fred and George felt awful. They were shocked to realize that their childhood prank had such long lasting effects.

"Ron … err…"

Ron got up abruptly and walked over to the lounge window, then turned about and faced them. - Bill abruptly noticed how much his little brother had grown since he last saw him... another thing he had overlooked. - Ron was even taller and far more muscular than Charlie was now.

"What is it then? - - Did some of my memories offend you-lot", Ron sneered. – "Did a few of my childhood insecurities ruin your sleep? -You can forget about the spider thingy … I've put that phobia behind me …no big deal"

"The spider thingy wasn't in there, Ronnie - but …We …err, saw some other memories." Ginny said. She watched as Ron began to stiffen.

"Did you now?" he asked, in forced casual tone.

"Ron, we're sorry that we ever made you feel that you weren't important", Bill said. "Why didn't you ever tell us?"

"Hmm? – That would have been a really hard thing to do Bill; with you in Egypt and Charlie in Romania. - Oh wait, I could have gone to 'good-old' Percy. - But even as a mere Prefect; he wasn't what you could call - approachable … especially on personal matters. – And then there is Fred and George, the primary source of troubles … now they would have laughed their arse off _and then used the knowledge to blackmail me … forever. – Finally, my beloved (tattle-tail) little sister … Ginevra; she wouldn't have understood either, as she wasn't bullied like I was. - - Actually; Mum would have killed the lot of you, had you mistreated your sister."

"The twins picked on me plenty …", Percy began.

"… And how many detentions did you give them in return - you gave as good as you got in that prank-war; brother mine", Ron countered

"I got pranked too", Ginny weakly protested

Ron spun around, the feelings he'd been hiding for years coming to light. "And yet … the twins always managed to pin the blame on me when they pranked you_ and you let them".

"Did… did you really think Mum didn't want you?" Percy interrupted, in a small voice.

"Well let's see, our mother is beyond wonderful and she had no trouble at all … remembering everyone else's favorite color, or sandwich for the train ride to Hogwarts. My jumper is Maroon every single year, even though I told her repeatedly, that I prefer light blue. – I got Corned beef for the train, even though only Bill likes those. - Then there was the family wide shock at the announcement that I was appointed prefect, instead of the_ **Chosen-One**. - A horrible mistake, she called it. - She even Flooed the headmaster's office to confirm that Harry wasn't in reality the Prefect for our year. "

Ron had some good points. - Charlie had to admit that; he had failed at being a big brother when he had gone so far away to study dragons. He should have kept better tabs on what was going on at home.

"Hey, we're sorry." Bill said feeling equally guilty.

"About what?" - Ron asked, genuinely surprised.

"For making you feel so …" Bill muttered.

"… Invisible … is that the word you're looking for." Ron interjected and then he laughed briefly. – "It's a-tad late to worry about me being bullied – don't you think? - - Water under the bridge … I imagine. - - There was an old saying of grandpa's …that goes: ' _That, which does not destroy us, makes us stronger_ ' - That's what I always hoped was the end result of what happened to me … make me stronger … bolder – it didn't work out that way … not in the courage department and not with the ladies. I'm a self confessed coward, who will most likely never marry".

"Everything else; including Hermione, is most likely a 'moot-point' _now. - - If, as I suspect … she knows all about what the locket said to me … then her disappointment in me for being so easily manipulated, will be profound. – In the light of these facts; whatever pathetic relationship that I did have with the girl … is now most likely ruined. _ That you-lot finally know, how badly I use to feel about myself as a child … is actually more uncomfortable to think about … than embarrassing."

"But we mucked you up something awful – ruined your chances with girls – almost botched-up your keeper skills in Quidditch?" - George admitted in a deeply repentant tone.

"I went through the Riddle war too, and we all got mucked-up by that. Luckily; I have a very close friend that is a girl/young woman. She even use to let me snog her … once in a great-great while. - She told me once of the dangers of messing with the past (she had a time turner). She told me to accept whatever happened and move on_ and with a-bit of help, I have, I think. - - I own my own shop … I have a flat, a wonderful House-elf and this cottage … not bad - for a barely literate; dimwitted tradesman".

"Ronnie shut-it, we are trying to say, we are sorry for what we did to you …" George said

"… And I'm trying to tell you-lot, that there is no benefit to be had … in sobbing over missing the quaffle. - - Losing is a part of life, it's not fair … but that's the way life goes. - Let me also remind the lot of you, of what dad always said about card games, ' _play the hand your dealt'_ ,"

"What he say?" - Fred asked

"I was fated to be just an average bloke … and there are more like me than you overachievers. - I try to play the cards that destiny dealt me … without complaint _and for me; that has not been easy - - I'm not brilliant or stupid. I am what my experiences have made me (good and bad) and generally … I am not unhappy with how I turned out. I have mental issues … yes; but then-again most war veterans do and I under therapy for it. –

"You're in therapy?" George asked.

"Two years now", Ron replied.

"Has it helped?" - Fred said

"When I think about all the crap, that Harry went through as a child and then later at Hogwarts … I can't help but wonder why he isn't in a mental ward right-next to Gilderoy. Honestly … Harry's nightmares are loads worse than mine. If you-lot want to make amends for what life did to Harry and to me … you will promise to help Ginny get Harry into therapy (he won't listen to me) – Personally … if any of you … ever_ 'bring up' _again in my presence … anything you heard or saw in that pensive … I'll make you regret the day you all … were born", Ron threatened in a deadly serious tone.

88**88

None of the siblings were especially happy about how this 'chat' had worked-out before leaving - for Ron was (as usual) far too forgiving. - The consensus was, 'that they had botched it and it could have gone better' - - worst yet … they still had their Mum to answerer to, and she wasn't as forgiving as ickle Ronniekins. - In no time at all, only Ginny remained. - "About the Locket", she said. "Hermione had the right to know what it said to you … how you felt about her ... still feel about her … for good or bad it's the real reason that you left the tent."

" ** _NO_** – the destruction of the locket happened_ **after** _I had left. - I destroyed that stupid thing, during on my first return visit and besides … that pensive didn't show what happened when I got the half-drown Harry back to the tent or why I left a second time. The bottom line is ... it wasn't your secret to tell – it was mine … dammit", Ron screamed in barely controlled anger. - - "She and I haven't spoken about my cowardness during the Horcrux camping trip. - - Not once, in five years_ and I would have preferred that policy had remained intact. - You have opened-up an old wound; Ginevra and it's not in Hermione's nature to leave well-enough alone".

"The confrontation with her about this … shouldn't be that bad", Ginny said without conviction. - "I am really sorry about all this Ronnie. - I think that makes two times in seven years, where I've 'mucked-up' your thing with Granger. - If it is any comfort to you, Hermione was really upset about the Locket thingy - - but maybe her ending it with you, will turn out to be a good thing. You haven't gotten anywhere with her in three years … maybe you can move on now_ and find someone else … someone better … someone who will let you do more than kiss?" - Ginny said with sadness, suspecting that she had once again lost Ron's trust… she was in tears when she got home.

 **88**88**

Ten minutes later … after staring out the window sadly, Ron went back to his chair only to find that his 'tea' was stone cold, - he looked up and said: "Tweaky, can I get a fresh cuppa". A moment late there was a sharp rap on the door, and Ron walked over to answer it, while saying: "what wrong with you Ginevra … did you forget something?" – He opened the door and to his great surprise he saw a soaking wet and very determined looking Hermione … standing in his doorway.

Looking a-bit like a drowned rat, having walked further in the rain than his siblings. - She was carrying a small overnight bag, which was (most likely) big enough on the inside to contain ten times the space required to store; double the amount of everything Hermione had ever owned, during her entire life … up to this point. (using the beaded bag of the hunt for comparison) - He looked up from the bag to her dripping wet face, just in time to hear:

"Ronald; enough is enough, I'm moving in",

"You're what … why?" Ron replied feeling utterly gob smacked

"Because I've made a few (minor) miscalculations in our … relationship (three years worth - apparently) by reducing the priority of what we have, in favor of other things.

"You don't admit mistakes", Ron said gob smacked.

"Mistakes … who said I made a mistake?" - Hermione countered heatedly. – "What happened was a few … very few … really minor missteps (totally out of my control) concerning when to move-on to the next level in a relationship, that I nearly ruined at school with my fixation over Harry".

"Are you talking about Viktor or Cormac?" Ron asked genuinely confused.

"I'm talking about you silly", she replied with a blush.

"There was no_ **us** _ not at Hogwarts, or during the hunt", Ron said with blunt honestly

"I've already admitted to a few minor missteps; Ronald Bilius (so don't push it) and this is not the time to open old wounds. - - However; while we are on the subject of injuries done to you … after hearing every single detail concerning what was in_ **the Locket** … and its destruction. - I'm not feeling all that forgiveful toward Harry at the moment. – He should have told me that your worst nightmare centered on me and him. One day … I will want to see that memory."

"Not going to happen", Ron half whispered.

"Oh I will see it, Ronald Bilius … count on it", Hermione growled back. "The odd thing was; that after telling me what the locket said … it was like the flood gates of Harry's mouth opened full (like a dam bursting) and Harry began telling me all kinds' of things that you did for me; that I didn't acknowledge.

That's why I can't honestly trust myself in his company right now; he and Ginny have lied to us repeatedly and I feel so tempted (at this point) to hex his sorry-arse – into a slug. - - You were right, it wasn't Harry's secret to tell … and nor was it Ginny's. - But we will be discussing the pros and cons of belated full disclosure ... at another time. - - You should have taken me with you when you left … and explained in private instead of me learning about it from … (but you didn't – and that's for later too).

"So Percy told about my bolt-hole (when he got back home) and you're here to tell me we're done", Ron said trying to cut-short an easily predictable discussion.

"I did want to get to you first; before the others (but it didn't work-out that way)", Hermione admitted, sounding extremely irritated. "And we are certainly not done".

"We're not?" Ron asked genuinely surprised.

"Far from it actually … As we speak …Harry and Ginny are being interrogated by your parents (it's their turn)" Hermione said with a truly evil smile. – "Next to me, those two did the most damage to you. I actually find their impending pain somewhat comforting because: one) they arranged for me to go first with your parents - and: two) they let you down so badly. – The lesson I have learned from all this is: that it is impossible for a secret to stay a secret ... at the Burrow, once exposed. - Yes Ronald; your parents know absolutely everything … Which means_ they will want a serious word with you … tomorrow"

"Gulp … yeah I half-expected that much," Ron admitted, - "I just wanted to give everyone enough time to cool-down and put things in proper perspective, before I faced the music"

"Good thinking actually… I didn't believe for one second – what the twins said. That you were trying to run away from your problems (like a child) - for I too, needed to step back, cool down and think things through. - - The locket and what it revealed shocked me deeply and inspired me at the same time … Luckily - your parents have agreed to let me- 'sort out' - **our** _issues first, before _ **we** _ see them again. Your father seems to think that you'll be more open with them … if I'm there for moral support".

"Yes; that's true enough", Ron admitted in a near whisper.

"However; as I said, After your siblings told your parents everything (I got most of the blame) …your parents instantly wanted to have 'a private word' with me … Ginny took delight in telling them about your spider phobia and then Bill informed them about your siblings general consensus, concerning why our relationship has been semi-permanently … on hold … for so long …"

"…They all admitted that you could do better", Ron interrupted sadly.

"No - actually, they are all convinced that you can do loads better … than me (and they are most likely correct on that point). I have been dragging my feet, delaying things whenever possible and avoiding any intimate situations. - Whenever I said stop, you did; without complaint, or making me feel the least bit guilty. Do you know how often I've been pressured (on a date) to do things before I was ready?".

"Who did that ... Viktor or Comac?" Ron asked automatically.

"Both, actually; it's also happened to me a dozen times or more … with some of the other guys I dated after the war. - Naturally you had to be the exception. You're to blame of course … you've been so understanding … so patient … so irritatingly honorable – I never feel pressured in your arms to …" - She began only to stop mid-sentence as she became extremely thoughtful.

"Of course, it's my entire fault, nothing new there", Ron said with growing despair. - "Apparently; I'm total rubbish with witches".

"NO…no, I disagree … you encouraged me go to find myself and while away from you and I did find my place in post war England. - You gave me the right amount of support that I needed to find my wings,

"And now it's time to fly away?'

"That's what your parents thought", Hermione said in an angry tone – "After you left and no-one could find you. I ended -up having (without you) an utterly embarrassing_ 'heart to heart chat' _with your furious mother concerning my long term intentions in regards to you. – She wants grandchildren from you_ and has been aware for some time of the snail-pace progress in the_ ' **hands on** ' _part of our relationship. She knew without asking … that I was the one holding things back. - - Did I already mention, how truly scary your Mother can be – when she is really-really – upset".

"You've been waiting for someone better to come along, I suppose" Ron said in a resigned tone.

"That's your families consensus; your sister outright accused me of playing-you", Hermione said sounding slightly angry. "I am however quite disturbed that you mirror their option, has your therapy not helped (at all) with your self-image issues?"

Ron ever so wisely decided to remain silent.

Not getting a reply to a rhetorical question, Hermione pressed-on. - -"Your Dad even took an entire day off from work to help sort out where I stand with you in light of the revelations of the locket incident … most embarrassing".

"They forced you out of the Burrow … I'm so sorry", Ron bemoaned again while glancing down at her overnight bag.

"Shut-it … Ronald, the bottom line is your entire family has spent the last two days regretting what they have collectively done to you. - Nor are they pleased with what I have done to you emotionally. – Thanks in large part to your sister … (by the way - I can't see my-self sharing a bedroom with that girl ... ever again) - my multi-year fixation with Harry has also been fully aired in the_ **Burrow** _lounge and the foolishness of my Potter pursuit; repeatedly pointed out to me. - The only good that came from that episode ... was a surprisingly open and frank discussion of how to avoid making the same mistakes with your children".

"At this point, I doubt there will be any", Ron said

"The twins joked that you should take over their share of making offspring's for your Mum (as they fully intend to stay single) and_ **sire** _eight nippers … while Ginny and Harry pop out six (like your mother) But I don't want to become a bare-foot and pregnant breeding machine. - I want a career and strongly believe that I can have it all ... with no more than two children coming out of me ... that would be ideal number for us". Hermione rambled on with a wistful smile.

"Two - - **us**?" Ron asked mystified.

"Never mind that now" Hermione said blushing hard at being caught-out, before again … pressing on. "Although I don't approve of House-elf enslavement (as a general principle), I have bore witness of your loving handling of Tweaky, and the respect you have shown her. Over time; I have come to agree that abrupt freedom for them … is not the answer and I cannot find fault in how your house-elf is treated. In fact I only wish that others were as concerned as you are to house-elves working conditions."

"And what does this have to do with two children?"

"Honestly Ronald, isn't it obvious" … She said sounding irritated. "You have already in place a prefect nanny (Tweaky) for the massive amount of offspring's that the twins want you to have. I understand that Audrey and Percy have a house-elf now and Fleur is considering one. Your entire family, including both parents consider Tweaky a great selling point for any witch that wants it all (as I do) a career and a family. I didn't like that discussion at all, they speak of you like a sellable commodity, and your father actually admitted that he'd been approached about an arranged marriage for you … how barbaric.

"Arranged marriage is a corner stone to the Wizarding community. Our society is different in many ways to Muggle's".

"I fully understand that the wizard world is a unique culture, I just don't approve of some of your customs. Anyway … as I was saying; your entire family wants to make amends to you; but the just don't know how. - Harry and I especially are concerned about losing you over this pensive fiasco … well, while brainstorming for a solution; the twins actually came- up with one of their traditionally perverted ideas … an amusing way-out, which … oddly enough, I think will help me … convince you of the depth of the genuine feelings that have developed in with growing certainty, since Malfoy Manor. In short … I've fallen in love with you"

"No way … you couldn't possibly ... not your intellectual equal … thick as a post … mere shopkeeper", Ron weakly began to rambled on and on. – "You really shouldn't force your-self to settle for second best, (over the pensive incident) when there are - literally loads - of better wizards out there for you to chose from. - I won't break-apart when this ends and I couldn't bare your pity"

"Ronald - stop spewing rubbish … at once. Right from the off … I DO NOT SETTLE for second best … in anything I do, and – I don't feel pity for you. To be honest, right after the Riddle war I actually tried the casual dating scene while looking for my parents in Australia, just to test the waters … so to speak. I wasted two years in denial of my budding feelings for you. - However; even as my fame got me dates, the wizards (down under) proved to be very disappointing, mainly because they were … **not you**. - I tried again during my 'repeat year' at Hogwarts and found Ravenclaw boys totally self-absorbed (as expected) and thoroughly lacking in any kind of warmth or sense of humor_ bottom line again … **not you**. … I began to doubt my own sexuality when even the wizards of the Ministry … couldn't hold a candle next to the shopkeeper – Ronald Bilius."

"Nothing special about me", Ron said in a half-whisper

"You need to remember; that we hardly ever argue anymore, that I look forward to being (alone) in your company now. That I take pleasure in kissing you, although perhaps not as often as I should, that has to change … I know that. - – Oh and before I forget – while discussing in family conclave our romantic progress or lack thereof (highly discomforting) your family has collectively determined that the best possible way to accelerate our relationship and to bring- **us** -into parity with the now engaged Harry and Ginny … thus substantially boasting your injured self image (I should point out that your mother wasn't the only vote aga inst this idea) The twins suggested that the best way to equalize the disparity in our opposite sex experiences without forcing you into a series of blind dates (because they have already tried and failed with that tactic, while I was away). Their current solution boils down to this; getting you drunk at a (safe) pub and then ... laid".

WHAT IN BLOODY HELL? – the lot of you are all mental … total nutters", Ron screamed. - "And who (pray tell) did my siblings and Dad, line up for this pity shag …?"

"Me … actually, I volunteered"

"Not the least bit funny Hermione."

"I agree that having sex wasn't what I had in mind, as a quick-fix cure for your self-confidence issues. – As my own experience in intimate activity, actually isn't all that much greater than yours. - But after I thought it over carefully, I came to believe that a active sex life would benefit both of us equally",

"Make your case ... barrister", Ron began, trying with difficulty to remain calm, in the face of the ridiculous. - "Explain to me in simple terms the pros and cons of sex with a mere shopkeeper"

"Don't take that attitude with me; Ronald Bilius. I have actually given this bizarre idea a lot of thought … I have tested my resolve, repeatedly … by dating others, whereas you - didn't feel the need. - I've been (on and off) aggressively pursuing you (for me) since the war, I even_ 'raised the ante'_ and went slightly pro-active during the last three years. I made a few minor missteps there, I suppose – and after learning of the locket incident today - I have come to the inescapable conclusion, that my Malfoy Manor conclusion was the correct one after all. - In light of recent events I have determined that it is _ 'high time' _that I stop this prolonged flirting game and openly admit that I love you.

"You do?" Ron replied weakly.

"Yes … Ronald I do, and with that undeniable _ 'FACT' _clearly in mind, I have decided to accelerate (more than a-tad) my original time table plans for us, by asking you formally (right now) to marry me".

Ron eyes were wide and he stood rock still … stunned speechless … ' _this is some kind of joke … she_ _can't be even remotely serious,' -_ he said to himself as his mind went all fuzzy.

"We will live together first … of course – I acquired the spare key to your flat (over the shop) that you kept at the Burrow, but I didn't know about this cottage at all. - Interesting development … unexpected I must say. You really must show me around. - - And then after a respectful engagement period … a tentative wedding date can be determined, and set _for sometime in the middle of next June …"

"You can't possibly be serious about this … Married?" Ron exclaimed

"Honestly, Ron, I would really feel better about us having loads of sex, if we were at least … engaged."

"We don't have to have sex, especially if it was the twin's idea and not yours. Forced sexual therapy won't cure my nightmares", Ron insisted.

"Are you upset that a modern witch that knows you as well as I do _ would have the gall to pop the question of Marriage?" she asked.

"Who asks doesn't matter to me … the point is this is an insane idea, unless it's a prank at my expense" Ron asked again.

"Not a prank, I don't do pranks … I am serious here," she countered heatedly

"Really … do tell … how serious?" he asked

"Well … after considerable thought. - I took the liberty to acquire a modestly priced wedding set that I liked (while in Diagon alley yesterday … your Mum helped with that) The rings are in the overnight bag I brought with me, along with all the furnishing from my former flat … I've canceled my lease. Your Mum thinks we should bin all of your furnishing and use mine exclusively, but I disagree … I believe that it should be half and half. - Oh and by the way … I have also applied for a marriage license … after getting your parents' permission.

"My parents approve"

"Reluctantly … Yes … I argued the merits of the idea, by pointing out your feelings and admitting that I couldn't possibly ask for a better husband"

"I love you … you know that … for the longest time", Ron said with unshakable sincerity. "But you don't have to go so far to mollify my family. - I'm all in favor of more kissing and all… but marriage is a-bit of overkill, don't you think".

"So you don't want to marry me" Hermione asked

"Of course I do, imagining our wedding day is how I make a patronus "

"That's your happy thought" Hermione said deeply touched.

"Yes – to me you walk on water … but you don't have to do this"

"Do I have to get my club and drag my unconscious life-mate back to my cave?"

"What are you going on about?"

"I am going to marry you Ronald, it's going to happen sooner rather than later and then … someday I will give you a total of two children".

"I'm not going to talk you out of this … am I"

"An engaged witch, is a horny witch" she said seductively

"How about a compromise, I say yes to marriage idea of yours and we go see my parents tomorrow with an engagement ring on your finger (that will mollify my Mum ... big time) - But we have a longer engagement than you proposed (next June is Ginny's wedding – and we don't want to mess with that) a longer engagement ... just in case you change your mind"

"But I won't … you belong to me, and I belong to you, I am just not denying that truth anymore."

"That's it then, Yes Hermione jean I will marry you", Ron said before he Kissed her.

Fin

Post story notes

Thanks again to Ginnyrules27 for the inspiration; the original version can still be read, with my twisted revision most likely suffering in comparison.

The alternate universe plotline of Ron not coming back until 'Malfoy Manor' is a favorite of mine and has been used in several of my other stories. - - I have also greatly desired somewhere in cannon a _ ' **Gotcha'** _moment. - Wherein a fence sitting Hermione, who is always there for Harry (implied romantic attraction) which is why Harmione fans (insanity) exists … (in other words) there should be a point where she_ CLEARLY _switches her romantic focus from Harry to Ron. Otherwise the long awaited in public Kiss seems to come from (out of the blue) and can be easily confused with a reward for Ron's (spew like) sudden concern for house-elf safety during the Hogwarts battle.

I am as you can easily tell, a great fan of Ron, mister average, and the only one negatively affected by the Locket. Cannon is a little vague about Ron's post war career. - JK Rowling at first indicated an Auror career with Harry, but then seemed to imply that He stayed with George as a shopkeeper. I clearly prefer that Harry and Ron have different occupations.

Once again all credit goes to Ginnyrules27 - - Fan fiction dot net Id #: 6428997


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